A challenge to get real

I am being a little more productive today and getting to posts done today. This one is going to be more on the serious side.
Well, here goes
  I have told some of ya'll but I am having a small procedure done on my toes in about 2 weeks. All three of my brothers have had the same procedure done. I am taking a week off of work to try and stay off my feet. I am kinda nervous about the procedure even though I have seen similiar things done on animals, and I have talked to the doctor, I know exactly what is going to hapen. It is really the first kind of procedure I have had besides dental stuff. But, with teeth stuff you cant see what is happening, during this I can. It is not really the procedure I am worried about it is the week at home.  I am worried about being caught in a web of depression. I have dealt with depression before, it is something I seem struggle with in different times of my time. I have learned to realize the "signs" of it coming on and change my thinking(like the scripture says to transform my mind/ thoughts) and start praying. I really feel like this thing is something the devil has been beating against me for years, because God has told me and given me a powerful gifting for him, God has called me to be a powerful woman of God. I sometimes feel like Moses, I dont feel like God can use me. But, I know down inmy spirit that He is telling me that He can use me and that He has proved Himself in my life over and over. My last bout with depression was in the six months that I was working at PET( the emergency clinic here in AK). I was working nights. I just felt all the joy was sucked out of my life. I had no friends, no car, and no sleep. I could not make it to church or any group meetings because of my work schedule.  I have already talked about that time, so just to sum up. It didn't work out at that clinic and God provided me a new position. It has worked out great there. But, during my time a PET I would work three nights in a row and then have four days off. During those days off, I would sit at home and do nothing. Graham would make some stupid comments about how I would sit in the at same spot all day and do nothing while he was at work. But, I was so stuck in my cycle of depression I didnt want anyone to see me like that, plus I was putting on some pounds and I was ashamed and embrassed.
Anyway, Graham is leaving town for a few days right after my procedure so I will be alone for few days without a car. I am just praying that God will be with me. That He will protect me from this attack from the Devil. I havent told many people that I am having this procedure because I dont want to be a burden on others. I will be able to take care of myself, but I also know I cant shut people out when all they want to do is to bless you. But, I also know that you can't rely completely on others to fill your needs. God can fill everything, but sometimes He uses others to help fill those needs.  So I am asking that ya'll one pray for my procedure that everything goes well and two pray that He will be with me and reveal some the answers to the questions that I have. He will reveal how I can use the gifting and callings He has given me in my life in my current situations, and that He would stir up a hunger for Him during that week.  Because I want to bloom here where He has planted me.  Thanks!